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"My child didn't come first! Now what will I tell my neighbors?". What a tragedy... for the child! Poor soul, having to study and compete not for the sake of learning but pleasing the neighbors. I've heard this remorseful complaint from so many parents now that I wonder if children are mere tools to help parents boast in front of others. Agreed that man is a social creature and needs to live in the society. Does that mean that everything needs to be "approved" by the society? For some people, yes. And this is not just in academics but virtually in every aspect of daily life. "What will people say" is a very common metric for evaluating ones actions. Does this metric reflect an insecurity that you don't "belong" to the society if you do something that might be scoffed at by that society? Is this a herd mentality? We all have our priorities in life. For some people who have been brought up with the belief that what the society says is the final word, societal acceptance is their priority. For them, there's nothing wrong in living the life from their neighbor's point of view. I wonder how that neighbor lives his/her life - from their neighbor's point of view? Where does this chain end? I feel that these people are not living their life but instead trying to follow a set of rules laid down by somebody else. Parents often try to "use" their children to realize their own dreams... fulfill promises they made to themselves but could not achieve for whatever reason. As if not happy with themselves following the rules, they want their children to follow them too. Well, they learned from their parents and now they are passing it on to their kids... I sometimes wonder that it is we who make the society so why do we still want to get "approved" by it?
Let's think about it for a second in a different context. We upload our picture on Facebook and then wait for people to come and comment on it, LIKE it and show their "approval". We don't put up anything that the Facebook society would not like, do we? No, because we want to stay in the good book of the society. In a time when "ratings" of all types (product ratings, movie ratings, personal ratings, ...) help us make our decisions, it is not surprising that we start living the life which the society has given the "top ratings" or "approved". So now, if our parents say "what will people say", is that a surprising thing? Maybe not, they are seeking the approval of the society that they are familiar with. But is it the right thing to do? Probably not, because then we lose our individuality and don't think for ourself anymore. Instead, we live our life like the society wants us to. Sounds a lot like a zombie being controlled by the society? It may very well be the case :)
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