Monday, July 10, 2017

When life gives you lemons

 Three questions to ask yourself before making your lemonade-
  1. Ask yourself if you are treating yourself as a victim i.e. your negative state of mind is a result of some external force. While it is okay to be negative but if you consider yourself as a victim then you are giving the power of healing/hurting to the other person. Then you lose control over your emotions and depend on the other person to fix things for you. In reality, you are powerful enough to make yourself positive by giving positive feedback to yourself and changing how you react to the other person (e.g., replacing anger with love and understanding). This also means that you have to actively take ownership of your life and actions because then everything that happens to you is under YOUR control, not the external force.
  2. Ask yourself if you are spending most of your time brooding and judging other people's actions. If you are then that's not a productive use of your precious time. It also means that you have extra brain power that is looking for some work to do. Channelize it to do useful things that advance your career and mind. Focus on YOURSELF, your actions, your thoughts, your emotions and leave everything else to the higher powers. If you are judging others then you are assuming that you are superior to them or have a higher moral ground which is not very healthy in relationships. Everyone has their reasons for their actions which may or may not be obvious. Accept things as they are and if you are facing a hard situation then probably there are things that you need to learn from that and move on. Brooding just makes us negative and pessimistic. Don't do it.
  3. Ask yourself what is your identity. If you are only seeing yourself as a mother, a father, a wife or a husband then these are again dependent on other people. It is not about YOU anymore but someone else giving you this identity and thus at other people's mercy to preserve this identity for you. Instead, think what you can call your own. You can define your identity as a doctor, a spiritual healer, an educator, a researcher, a photographer or something else where the power to make or break that identity rests with you, not any external person. Having an identity that is under your control is important because it gives you a sense of worth and purpose that no one else can take away from you, whatever happens. It also means that you are a unique individual that can exist independent of what other people say or do. 
All these points bring the focus back to you. It is very easy to submit ourselves to our minds which really has no clue what to do with all the brain power. You are a powerful soul, remember that. You are also a winner because you defeated millions of other competitors to come into this world (we all did). So tell your mind to stop making yourself think otherwise.

Finally, please do the SAVERS activity every day (just 6 min) - http://lifehacker.com/start-your-day-off-right-with-the-savers-morning-routin-1716241117

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